"...even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to You." (Psalm 139:12)
I remember being on my knees in the prayer room as I read the passage. Face to the floor. It was our annual staff conference. Reading Psalm 139, which I had clung to much over the four years of being in full time ministry. I'd embraced this one, again and again, and shared it enthusiastically with many in that time, hoping to hit the point...home. Hammering it in, and still, barely aware. O' it takes a while for the truth to sink deep, deep into the dark places. In this moment, all I wanted was for the darkness to absorb me. Disappear. Quietly. Into nothing. Letting it all go. Though, it wasn't possible. The Lord, He doesn't stop there. No, the word continues, and reading further, I saw. He will be there, too. He won't go away, nor leave you alone, not ever. Still, while the darkness is light to Him, we cannot see. Not without Him. On our own, we run into the dark, wanting to be engulfed, entirely. Imagining everything might just go. Away. The pain, the hurt, the constant disappointment, the mistakes, the failures, and every reminder that we will never get it right. This feeling, this awful, awful ache. We desperately want an escape. We'd give anything. Anything. But, HE already did. Everything. For you, for me. "...before I was born...before a single day had passed" (vs. 16). He knew the darkness would consume us, that we may even hope that it would. Yet, without the light, the darkness becomes death. He knew our deep, deep need for Light. We can't do it without Him. When we do, the darkness stays dark. There is no light to see...the beauty that comes as the darkness fades.
